Healing a Soul with Chocolates the Right Way

Why “chocolates for the soul”?

The past few days, I’ve seen my weight creeping up.  Ok, more accurately, the past several weeks.  Who would have thought that I’m still saying this in February.  I thought I would have managed my weight creep by January.  It all started in the beginning of December.  Mainly enjoying a leftover chocolate hazelnut cheesecake too much in the span of a few days.  I thought I would be able to recover.  That’s what’s always on my mind.  I was able to lose weight anyway.  I should be able to recover this with exercise.  Fast forward to where I am now, I’m not losing it.  And I need to confront it.  I can’t resubscribe to an app every time I lose control of my weight.

It suddenly reminded me of people going to rehab.  They have similar stories of going back to rehab multiple times.  Does that mean rehab is not effective?  When they’re in a healing environment, I bet they truly feel recovered.  Once they’re out in the real world, it becomes an uphill struggle where they’re exposed to every vulnerability they have again.

Why do recovered alcoholics have to abstain from alcohol?  Why do they need to have that coin to show how many days they haven’t had a drink?  What is partnered with alcohol that makes a person fall for it all over again.  When a person feels good about his life, and he is given a chance to drink alcohol, will he abuse it.  When she hasn’t felt rejection and is simply celebrating a milestone with friends and family, will she drink more than she can tolerate?

Is it the alcohol or is it how they feel inside?

And so my struggle with food, especially with chocolates.  I loooovvvveeee chocolates.  The fudgy, sticky kind that sticks to your tongue with that bittersweet aftertaste.  I like smelling it, seeing it in artsy and creative ways, feeling it’s texture in my mouth and that sensation is multiplied when walnuts or hazelnuts are thrown in and I hear the low, dull crunch.  Of course the taste.. the less milk, the more bitter, but enough sugar to balance is my preference.  

On a bad day, I might indulge more than my blood sugar deserves.  On a good day, I should be able to tell myself, it’s good food and you deserve to enjoy every crumb and morsel, and hopefully also say, you also deserve to stop after a small serving because you love yourself enough.

And so my fellow chocolate lovers, here’s to another chance at keeping myself healthy.  I’ll be featuring chocolates and soulful reflections in an effort to keep myself balanced.  I hope anyone reading this will discover that balance in themselves too.

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